KCNA, the state-run North Korean news service which has its website’s domain name under the Japanese TLD (.co.jp), often pumps out aggressive, somewhat naive, and blatant propaganda. So let’s try to piece together recent KCNA news:

Our revolutionary armed forces, as they have already declared, will regard the Lee Myung Bak group of traitors’ “full participation” in the PSI as a declaration of war against the DPRK.

A sadist approach to what any conforming country would see as it’s international duty to prevent the trading of nuclear weapons.

They should bear in mind that the DPRK has tremendous military muscle

North Korea’s army wields an outdated arsenal; it’s fleet is technologically out-gunned by the South and the majority of it’s aircraft are from the 1950’s and 60’s. They also suffer from fuel shortages and cannot maintain effective training because of this.

The only ‘tremendous’ is the quantity of troops they have, however it is apparently reported that their troop army is malnourished. The soldiers lucky (and trusted) enough to be selected for the DMZ are made sure to be well-fed and muscley.

North Korea’s only major strategic advantage versus South Korea (but not the US) is its fleet of Submarines, which exceeds the South’s fleet many times over.

its own method of strike able to conquer any targets in its vicinity at one stroke

Meaning non-standard and somewhat dirty weapons such as chemical and nuclear weapons. North Korea uses these weapons as it’s normal doctrine.

3. For the present, we will not guarantee the legal status of the five islands under the south side’s control (Paekryong, Taechong, Sochong, Yonphyong and U islands) in our side’s territorial waters northwest of the extension of the Military Demarcation Line in the West Sea of Korea and safe sailing of warships of the U.S. imperialist aggression forces and the south Korean puppet navy and civilian ships operating in the waters around there.

Meaning a hypothetical militarily enforced incorporation (invasion) of those islands into North Korea and that civilian ships are not safe.

It is preposterous for the Lee group to have opted to fully participate in the PSI under the pretext of the underground nuclear test of the DPRK for self-defense.

It is nothing strange and quite natural for a nuclear weapons state to conduct a nuclear test.

Not entirely preposterous, because the main reason for the PSI is to prevent the trade of these nuclear weapons, so removing the naive-thinking propaganda and thinking logically, it makes sense that South Korea works toward preventing North Korea trading these weapons (and thus becoming terrorist payloads to further reaches of the world!)

Wouldn’t it be perfect for North Korea to arrange the detonation of a nuclear device in one of it’s unsuspecting enemies cities and not have the finger prints to prove that they did it.

Is this really how the North wants to show itself to the world? In the past, distasting regimes threw propaganda showing how their side was the best side, but North Korea’s nonsensical approach shows the world that it will murder civilians, be mercilessly aggressive, and that their late President Kim Il-Sung is the North Korean equivalant of God and Kim Jong-Il of Jesus.

As circumstances show, provocations of war on the part of the U.S. and South Korea have gone well beyond the risky level. It’s a matter of time when a fuse for war is triggered.

Kim Jong-Un is Kim Jong-Il's youngest son and most likely successor

Kim Jong-Un has been appointed to the National Defense Commission, which indicates that he is the most likely successor of Kim Jong-Il.

Kim Jong-Il has three sons by two women. The oldest is Kim Jong Nam who was considered his favorite until he tried to sneak into Japan using a fake Dominican passport and visit Tokyo’s Disney resort in 2001.

The middle son, Kim Jong Chol, apparently was never a favorite as Kim Jong-Il, according to his former sushi chef, thought of him as too ‘girly’.

Kim Jong-Un’s appointment means that he has most likely embarked upon vigorous training to become successor, and is expected to gain higher and higher posts.

There are no photos of Kim Jong-Un – he has never been seen in public and no bibliographies have ever been published about any of Kim Jong-Il’s sons.

Kim looked older in his first public appearance in 9 months.

The North Korean ‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong-Il has appeared in public for the first time since his apparent stroke in August last year.

He appeared to be older and frailer than the last time he was seen 9 months ago.

The state-run news station said:

“Having comrade Kim Jong-il at the highest post of our country again is a great honour and happiness”

Kim received a standing ovation as the parliament convened after he was, unsurprisingly, re-elected leader.

It's no surprise - Kim Jong-Il is hailed as a God-like savior of the Korean people.

Kim Jong-Il has been ‘re-elected’ as North Korea’s leader by the Supreme People’s Assembly of North Korea. It is likely that Kim will attend the inaugural session which will be his first public appearance since his rumored stroke last year.

It’s hard to speculate who else could have possibly been up for election, if any, seeing as North Korea does not tollerate any opposition to Kim Jong-Il.

News about Kim Jong-Il is hard to come by; only state propaganda that usually shows Kim Jong-Il visiting places, giving wisdom and advice on almost all aspects of industry. Though South Korean intelligence reports that Kim Jong-Il suffered a stroke last August were strongly denied by the North Korean government – which is to be expected because the North does not want any sign of weakness, especially with its leadership that it has portrayed as God-like to their populace.

It is also hard to contend with the fact that he is educated as a savior and God-like to North Korean’s from a young age. This is part of the indoctrination that North Korea has adopted to keep their population in check, as well as the fact that North Koreans live a highly censored lifestyle and that they are totally oblivious to their countries current standing in the world, believing that the regime is much wider supported than reality makes apparent – so you cannot blame the North Koreans for being stupid, blind, or naive – it is all they know.

Kim Jong-Il in the center of his satellite control staff

The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-Il, watched the successful satellite launch that took place yesterday.

Despite South Korean and US military sources suggesting that the rocket and its payload ditched in the Pacific Ocean, North Korea has given details on its satellite in orbit:

Unha-2, which was launched at the Tonghae Satellite Launching Ground in Hwadae County, North Hamgyong Province at 11:20 on April 5, Juche 98 (2009), accurately put Kwangmyongsong-2 into its orbit at 11:29:02, nine minutes and two seconds after its launch.

The satellite is going round the earth along its elliptic orbit at the angle of inclination of 40.6 degrees at 490 km perigee and 1,426 km apogee. Its cycle is 104 minutes and 12 seconds.
KCNA, North Korean News Agency

Kim Jong-Il wants the perfect pizza for North Korea

When Kim Jong-Il found that the North Korean chefs made ‘errors’ with their italian food cooking, he sent them to Naples and Rome to learn first hand in the homeland of the pizza.

Kim Jong-Il, the North Korean ‘Great Leader’, is known for his exquisite food tastes and fondness of western food.

In the late 1990s Kim brought a team of Italian pizza chefs to North Korea to train his army officers how to make good pizzas.

The pizza eating luxury is now only available to a tiny elite able to afford such luxuries, whereas the majority of the population endure harsh food shortages.

Despite the food shortages high-quality Italian wheat, flour, butter and cheese are being imported to ensure the perfect pizza is created every time.

“Our people should be also allowed to enjoy the world-famous food,” the manager of the Pyongyang eatery quoted Kim as saying, according to the Tokyo-based Choson Sinbo newspaper.

Apparently the restaurant had proved to be a major hit after it opened in the capital Pyongyang in December. However, it is common knowledge that only the cities elite and tightly-leashed tourists can only afford such luxuries.